Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Rocking Our Worlds

Some wise soul told me when I was pregnant with Graham that having two kids is not twice as hard, it is exponentially harder...she was right! I often feel like this blog should be sunshine and roses highlighting all the good stuff, but we also have quite a few, shall we say teachable moments. Graham is starting to exert his will now that he is no longer a baby, but on the cusp of toddler-hood. He is also sprouting a handful of teeth (possibly molars, or eye teeth- they are so swollen it is hard to tell, but two bits of tooth broke through the night of his birthday). He fights diaper changes, getting in the car seat, and God forbid his turn on the swing comes to an end (his protests come complete with the arching of the back and throwing himself about like a fish out of water). On the other hand, I went to a talk today on Preschoolers at a local Church with an onsite nursery (free!) and I was able to leave him at the nursery for a little over an hour with not one bit of protest. The nursery school teachers gushed about how smiley and cuddly he was. Refreshing after Gwen's drop offs at preschool. The honeymoon ended her 4th day at school (so week 2). I think because she learned that Graham and I go to Gymkids... without her, her little world was rocked. Not only does she have a life outside the family now, but Mama and baby brother have a life away from her. I thought we were going to have to quit the program, her screaming and crying was so intense, it must not be a good fit, right? Today Spencer dropped her off and not a tear was shed. At Back To School night this evening her teachers said she participates in class, has friends that she regularly plays with, and even though she is one of the youngest, appears to be one of the most mature. That is the Gwen I know. Every day after school she talks enthusiastically about what she did, so it is a good fit, just a rough transition (for me and her). I have really been struggling trying to be a cool, calm collected Mama who responds thoughtfully to her children's undesired behavior, keeps a tidy home, and prepares organic well balanced meals from scratch. The children of course take priority number one, then food, then housecleaning...but what about Mama? Let's not forget Spencer either. Spencer joined a bowling league with work so he has one night a week to do his thing, and I now have a different free night too. I went to the movies last week and am getting a massage this week. One thing we have learned is a happy Mama is a good thing for everyone. But one thing I have realized, is a two hour break once a week isn't enough for me to keep it together on a daily basis. So, we are considering getting a house cleaner, and I have a consultation scheduled at The Parent's Place to hopefully gain some insight and skills into how to respond better to the behaviors that are making me feel crazy. I hope she rocks my world, in a good way.

There is a longer video of Graham on his birthday with us singing, but this is the brief one where he shows of his sign for milk (after indulging in a little cupcake), waves bye-bye, and says good night.



2 comments:

lil purl aka Beth said...

Thank you for being such a wonderful and honest mama Ambrosia!!! You are an inspiration! You said it all! I know how you feel and am sure to go through it too.

Like you said, a happy mama is a happy family!! Since we last spoke, we've decided to get help for me twice a week and I'm in a much healthier place. I'm glad to hear you are doing the same.

Karen said...

That was exactly how Cady started out, like I said before, she needed a transition object from me. And even after a year, every once in a while she didnt want to be dropped off. But she learned so much about socializing and about do's and donts while in public, and about consistency of me or her dad coming back to pick her up after school. And once she learned that SHE had something special, she would come home singing the songs, or recalling her day at dinner time. She had something NEW to bring to the table. Not saying it was always wonderful...just saying in the long run, she did great and is much better for it.