Sophisticated Girl

For weeks Gwen has been requesting short hair like Graham. I have been asking clarifying questions, "You mean hair like so-and-so (girl with a bob)?" "No. Short like Graham." So when I asked Malia to cut Gwen's hair shoulder length, I was really guessing that was what Gwen wanted (I knew it was as short as I wanted to go). Malia did an amazing job, and Gwen loves her new hair style. It seems to be exactly what she wanted and she was so happy when she first saw herself in the mirror. This is her first real expression of self (besides choosing what clothes to wear, which she does everyday). Her new sophisticated hair seems to have affected her behavior too. Besides looking older, she seems to be acting older, in a good way. But before the haircut, I was chatting with a Dad at the park about our kids and he guessed Gwen was a kindergartener. His daughter was just a few months older than Gwen, but he commented Gwen just seemed so much older, "the way she carries herself." I am starting to think we are over the awfulness that was three, and that as we get closer to four, maybe we can all enjoy each others company more. Gwen truly is a pleasure to be around, when not acting crazy and driving others insane.

Oh Boy Oh Boy, Part II

Graham had his first haircut care of Malia. We put his hair in a little pony tail and she cut that off for me to put in his baby book, and then she trimmed all his baby wisps off. He looks like such a little boy now! Today he had his 18 month well baby visit (finally!). He is not quite as little as I thought. He weighed in at 26lbs (45th percentile) and is 2' 10" (92nd percentile!). I have a feeling he might have some strong tall/skinny genes and is likely to end up like his Uncle Arin (complete with eye lashes to die for).

Oh Boy, oh Boy!

 Two years ago today we found out we were having a boy, and recently it has become clear, besides the fact he has a penis, Graham is all boy! However, he spends most of his time with big sister Gwen. I have come to realize, I am not his first teacher, she is. Graham is learning how to play, communicate, fight, love, get in trouble, etc, from his big sister. Graham may look to me or Spencer for reassurance, but he looks to her for direction. Yes, it is frightening. This is so much so that while he seems to favor his right hand, he often uses his left hand, mimicking his left handed sister. So, it is not unheard of for Graham to request to wear a tutu like Gwen and her friends. He has asked for ponytails more than once, his hair is just too short (though he is working on a wicked mullet). I started realizing my baby was a boy when doing the downward dog pose toddlers like to do he put his hands out, balancing on his head and giggling as if to say, "Look Ma. No hands!" I don't know how he knows how to do this, no one else in the house does it, but he will take cars and pretend like they are driving around making car noises and everything. He likes to kick balls, throw balls, and hug them. Big sister was and continues to be a very active girl, but Graham has a streak of recklessness about him. He is continuously confounded that he can't climb the ladder to her top bunk (his legs are just too short). So recently he figured out how to scale the play kitchen like a rock climber to get to it. I moved the kitchen a foot away from the bed, and he continues to try and bridge the gap, with no fear of the consequences (he slipped the other day and swung underneath the bed in a trapeze move Spencer witnessed). When Graham falls, unless he has hurt himself, he doesn't cry. He saves face by pretending he meant to be down on the ground inspecting the floor. Spencer thinks he often walks around holding a little car so that when he inevitably falls (usually running around a corner), he has something to pretend to play with while he mentally prepares to get back up. Recently he has taken to bringing a beloved object to bed. This has included his little brick red matchbox mustang and his little tonka firetruck. He is losing his sweet musty puppy smell his little baby head had when he got out of the bath, and more often than not smells like plain old musty puppy. I can only hope my sweet baby boy keeps the sweetness inside him.

Gwen is 3 1/2 and No Fool

For a few months I have been thinking about all the things I would include in this post commemorating Gwen being closer to 4 than 3 years old. She continues to be amazing of course, and challenging, of course, and we wouldn't have her any other way. At bedtime her and Spencer have been making up stories, instead of reading, and this has blown her mind. Sometimes she gets angry when he makes up something that is 'wrong' but she is starting to get the concept. Just this morning she was 'reading' a book out loud to Graham. She had never read this particular book (it is an early reader), so she was truly making it up. Her and Spencer also have a game inspired by the Down by The Bay song where they say ridiculous things, and then laugh hysterically about it. So sometimes Gwen will randomly say something like, "A giraffe wearing roller skates!" And then laugh hysterically. Speaking of hysterics, she has been super emotional lately. Graham is pretty obsessed with bellies and skin, so if he sees her naked belly he takes the opportunity to smack it enthusiastically. Of all the reactions, her immediate one is to start bawling very dramatically. Times of frustration, she speeds so fast to tears I often honestly don't know why she has become so distraught. I am trying to be gentle about this, but this is a trying stage, if only because I don't know how to help her (and crying is like nails on a chalkboard to me). I have also noticed her be a bit moody with her friends, shunning some, feeling shunned, and I think this is all normal, but it reminds me more of a 13 year old than 3 year old. I will ask her after a playdate where she seemed to be having a great time, "Did you have fun today?" And she will say more often than not, "Not really." We are honestly horrified of a hormonal Gwen.
I take Baby Boot Camp classes at a nearby park that also has a dog park, so there are always people walking their dogs. Gwen decided she should take her dog to the park too. She often talks about how we should get a dog. Most recently, after reading Madeline's Rescue, she says she wants a dog with babies in her. So then the babies can be born and we can give them to people who have never had a dog before.
Gwen has vacuumed a few times, and is actually fairly thorough :-)
This is her favorite statue at the SF Zoo. She is cleaning it with a baby wipe.
After the shenanigans of the little kitchen, I brought it back and her and Graham finished 'cleaning it' and she promised to never cook with real food in it again. Often while I am cooking she will come into the kitchen and ask, "Mom, is there anything I can do to help?" I try and find something she can do to encourage this awesomeness.
With Grandpa Eric at the SF Zoo.
Quiet time in her room. Most days she naps, but once or twice a week she just doesn't seem to need or want one. As she transitions to not napping as much, her bedtime gets a little earlier. We are so close to being able to put both kids to sleep at the same time!

Half Baby, Half Man Child

Graham is 18 months today, the first day of Spring, which is so appropriate because he continues to blossom. His language is just gushing from his little mouth. He can call two friends by name (little Maya, and Baschy for Sebastian) and two of his favorite big friends, Malia and Farkas. He calls Gwen sister (more like teh-ter). All other children he calls baby, all women Mamas, and all men Daddys (or man). He is also working on what animals are what, and the sounds they make. His new favorite animal is pig, but he is yet to oink. Graham continues to be quite particular about what he eats, and is not a fan of sitting down for long leisurely meals. Though, he blessed Spencer and I with one this past weekend while he slept in his stroller while we ate at Dish Dash with friends (such a treat!). He understand the concept of clean up now (and even says it), and will put his dirty dish in the sink, and get a towel to clean up his mess, or a napkin to wipe his hands or face (he is a Virgo after all). We have started listening to Music Together cds in the car again, and Graham has started singing along a little and doing the tonal exercises, which is super cool, and makes me sad I can't do Music Together classes with him (just doesn't fit our busy schedule). He has also started riding the tricycle. His legs are a bit short to try and pedal but he is good about keeping his feet up and staying balanced. He has a bit of a daredevil in him and will try and stand up on the front wheel while being pushed, laughing and giggling. He also will stand up on his ride-on dinosaur; I see skateboarding in his future. He enjoys playing with Gwen and her friends, but a side effect of that is he has started hitting (luckily he is too small to hurt anyone physically, but it is still upsetting all around). Graham has also started saying No, which can be helpful, and also really annoying. It has been a bit exacerbating for me to have to switch gears between interacting with Gwen versus him. I feel like we are starting to see a bit of the boy in Graham. He is super into cars and says choo-choo now for his train. He is still in love with books and rather than always insisting that we read to him, he has taken to flipping through his books himself. He continues to sleep in the bottom bunk every night, and has his one nap in the car or our bedroom. He sleeps longer stretches at night (about 3 hours), and I am sure that would improve if we night weaned him, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. The boy is obsessed with the boob. He is indeed, half baby, half man child.

Graham 17 months: The Shenanigans

Graham has really come into his own this last month. Etched in memory will always be the The Little Kitchen Shenanigans of 2012 when Gwen and Graham raided the fridge so they could 'cook' in their little kitchen. I accidentally fell asleep (and the kids were so kind as to shut my bedroom door); I woke to the sound of liquid splashing in the bathroom. Gwen and Graham were on stools standing at the bathroom sink gleefully stirring their soup of yogurt, Parmesan cheese, and butter. I give Graham credit for raiding and destroying the fridge (see below) and for helping himself to an almost dozen eggs (see below). After this episode of independence, creativity, and cunning, we decided Graham is a big boy and doesn't need to sleep in our bedroom anymore. The kids got bunk beds and he now sleep on the bottom bunk (IKEA loft bed with a mattress tossed on the floor of the 'loft'), and since it is a twin sized mattress, I can easily snuggle with him as needed. Which means I spend most of every night sleeping with him on the bottom bunk, which is fine, he is pretty cuddly and that IKEA mattress is surprisingly comfortable. The bunk beds have been great, except for 3 nights of teething, when he and I slept in our bedroom, the kids have slept together in their own room since we got them. Now that Graham's last tooth (his bottom right eye tooth) has erupted, he has all his teeth (except 2nd year molars) and I anticipate his sleeping to get much better. So far the best night was me being in my room until 4:30am (though I had already nursed him back to sleep a few times). Graham has taken to climbing on top of the kitchen table and trying to climb into his seat by himself. Alternatively he has protested sitting in his seat, demanding to sit in Gwen's booster, or stand next to her on the bench we have at the kitchen table. So we have banished the infant seat, and are in the market for a booster for him. Graham continues to be obsessed with books, Are You My Mother, Little Blue Truck, The Eye Book, being some of his favorites. He has learned some animal signs (pig, frog, and cat which looks nothing like the actual sign for cat) and animal sounds (moo, meow, and growling which he uses for dinosaurs, alligators/crocodiles, and anything else with teeth). He said his first real sentance, "Bye bay-bee" to his little newborn friend Willamina. He says dinosaur, puppy, cat, pretzel (one of his favorite snacks), and has figured out how to scream at the top of his lungs to make himself known. He used to scream only when hurt, now he screams if Gwen takes something from him, if he wants something she has, or if he just feels wronged somehow. He has taken to screaming hysterically when getting strapped in his carseat. He has figured out how to lock his knees and brace his legs against the back seat so it is impossible to strap him in. I don't have much to say about this except I find it very disheartening. Now that he is such a proficient walker, on the verge of learning how to run, he insists on walking everywhere. We had to buy him a second pair of little moccasin type shoes since he refuses to wear rubber soled shoes, and he walked all the way home from downtown, one and a half miles. Thankfully he likes to hold my hand. We had a few rainy days and I got him to wear an old pair of rubber boots, twice, but the novelty wore off. Even though he is more of a toddler than baby, he is still super sweet. When we are out and about he gets compliments on how smiley and happy he is, and how long and gorgeous his eyelashes are. Graham is super awesome and I continue to be super in love with him (despite The Shenanigans).

GWEN! Tipping Point

Gwen has reached some sort of tipping point the last few weeks (which I realize is really the last couple months) and it caught me off guard. She is bigger. She gets hysterical when clothes and shoes that used to fit her are tight screaming, "I"M A SIZE 5 NOW!" I was starting to think she was developing a sensory disorder. She is even more independent, more helpful, more playful, and of course smarter. This has made it that much more confusing to me when she clings to my legs crying for either an unknown reason (since I can't understand her through her hysterics), or answers, "NO!" to everything I suggest. Being three years old is apparently really hard. Being a parent to a three year old is down right crazy making. The mood swings are intense and it makes me dread the teenage years. She keeps throwing back at me the things I say to her, which is infuriating. It took me a few weeks to realize that I was allowing myself to be drawn into power struggles repeatedly, and that it was causing my beautiful sweet Gwen to be a brat. There. I said it. Well I have taken a step back and am dusting off all the tools in my parenting toolbox, and trying to take out some that don't work so well (during this crisis we resorted to bribes and threats which are satisfying to throw out in the moment, but not very effective in the long run). I have to remind myself she is only three years old. I am the parent, which doesn't mean I am in charge, but I am responsible for the tone of the conversation. Mama sets the mood, whether I like that fact or not. The tipping point for me was when she was screaming about something and I put my finger in my ears to block out the noise. She got very upset by this, and I told her honestly she was hurting my ears. I was acting like a child, and it dawned on me in that moment that someone who wasn't three years old had to take control of the situation. Now that I have adjusted to this growth in development, I am able to appreciate my three year old a little more. She has started sleeping through the night, and now sleeps on the top of the bunk bed she shares with Graham. She is such a good big sister. Graham absolutely adores her, and her possessions, and what ever she is doing, and more often than not, she is very inclusive with him. And this month she finally graduated to being able to go to gymnastics with the big girls (class without parent participation- yay!). I am constantly amazed at her and who she is and I am so grateful to be her Mom.